I'm Quitting My Job

I suspect that progress has been incremental from my last post in 2020. One thing that has not changed: my desire to contribute to publishing and how readers are engaging with language and literature in a truly meaningful way. 

I'm the odd-one-out in many ways within the money management blogosphere (albeit this is less advisory and more confessional) because work to me is not just an exchange of time for money: work for me is an existential question, and if my time is not spent on projects that are of true worth, like, new things are not being said/discovered/built, or beauty is not present, if the time remaining to me is inadequate to see to those sorts of things, all I feel is the time move by too quickly and a sort of death. 

The goal of being debt free and ultimately financially independent is seemingly at odds with the more spiritual/idealistic idea of what constitutes meaningful work. But another truth is that to date I have not been asking for what I'm worth, nor have I truly immersed myself in the work I want to be doing and championing it. The goal this year was to find a way to swing that, and I think I'm on to something. 

Barring a change of heart in the next day or so, my last day in publishing will be June 15th, and I will focus on freelance work. I have secured three profitable serving shifts a week at the restaurant I used to work at (and what a strange thing: to be running back to an industry that is so physically demanding. This run-around will be more intelligent however. Four shifts a week will be my max. Never again will I work doubles, the body needs rest) and I may have tutoring work over the summer as well. 

FREEING UP time for translation, research, and readings. And I'm going hard. 

I've also been feeling more motivated than ever to save. A colleague referred to her new motivation to save as a sort of covid ptsd, where I think that I have finally managed to save a substantial enough amount that it no longer feels like an exercise in futility. Whatever the reasons, this is what's happening:

Debts:

	July 2020	April 2021
Visa Credit Card	$9730	$4000
AMEX Platinum	$1650	$402
Upstart loan	$0	$8265
Loan From Parents	$1300	$1300
Fedloan*	$143482	$143482

*Not included in "Total Paid Down". This is just here for horror.

Total Paid Down: -$1287


Assets:

	July 2020	April 2021
Individual Brokerage	$1737	$3745
Acorns	$103	$523
Vanguard	$3021	$3022

Total saved/accrued: $2429

What is there to say except my foray in publishing has been a financial failure. The salaries are so low that I had to supplement my income with a second and then third job, and was then just barely making enough to save. You'll notice that my credit card bill got so high that I took out an Upstart loan (a wonderful company btw), and even that 10K loan didn't completely wipe out my credit card debt. 

I'm getting out now knowing that it would be many years before I start making a salary that I could actually live off of without taking on additional work. And in any event, it must be said that the work was supremely unsatisfying and often demoralizing. So. Bye.